i've grown bored...

ok.. seriously...
ya'll are like... seriously...
like.. HELLO! how long have ya'll known me for? how many miliseconds do you have to listen to me talk to understand how much i despise, hate and LOATHE jewland?!
i'm not fucking staying... man.. all the money in the world wouldn't change that!
seriously.... only ONE person threatened to come here and drag my ass back...(hats off to jugss!)
however.. i'm touched by monica's anger.. tee hee...
julie... you're swell...
i'll be back next sunday... the 30th... ready to spend some MONEY!!!!
alias/sony, HERE I COME!!!! woot woot! (doing little happy dance)
you guys are so gullible... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ok, ok, playing on ya'll's emotions, maybe not the best idea... but funny as hell!
(and i can't believe the jewish study didn't tip anyone off....)
well, anyways... like the title says, i've grown weary of this game... and here's the truth...
i did try to extend my stay by a month, and get back late may, but all the flights were booked solid...
everyone can breathe a sigh of relief... I'M COMING BACK!
i can't wait to see you all... and celebrate my bday in the good country!!
xoxo
much love!
indigo
random quote: are... are you insane?

update...

well, apartment hunting is hard...
apartments here are expensive! i'd hate to blow over half my paycheck on rent... b/c i'm also looking into buying a car, seeing as buses don't really appeal to my sense of... ya know.. living...
i start next month... i'm pretty excited...a bit nervous... and thrilled to be making MONEY!
the downside is that they don't sell the sony OR alias here.. i'll have to buy it when i get back to canada in a few months... bummer... oh well.. i'll live..
it's getting hotter and hotter... i hate it.. but hopefully i'll get used to it as time goes by... needless to say my family is thrilled... i feel the tingle of joy as well...
i've further decided that it's time i get to know my history and stuff.. so i've signed up to take this class on judaism... i start next week, and it's all about the history.. it's a year long course, and if i like it i'll continue with the other courses the university offers...
that's it for now... i have to get to bed.. i have a 15 hr shift at the video store tomorrow... (i'm working there for till i start my other job)
xoxo
hope everyone's doing well... love and miss you...
indigo

REVOLUTION!

well friends, it's happened...
what everyone told me would happen....
i'm not coming back...
i've decided to stay... i got a lucrative job offer and i've taken it...
i'll be back to get my stuff in a couple of months...
i know this comes as a shock...but i really think this is the best thing to do...
it feels right...
i hope i have ya'll's support in this...
xoxo

to smilmine...

smilmine... you were right after all...
i'm a G!
i couldn't believe it!
random quote: what makes you think you can just go in there and get what you need? they're called boobs, ed...

the lg love is back!

yup, that's right...my burning love has been rekindled.... hazza!
i saw this flick called "seeing other people" and her role in it was hilarious! AND she said the word FUCK a lot... and it was hot... i'm seeing about buying it...
right now, i'm watching oz, season 2... awesome show, i finally get to see it chronologically...
in other news... i have new identical clothes...yay
i can't figure out one of my co-workers... i like her best... and i can't decide whether she hates me or not...
she did 2 nice things for me today: she gave me a ride home... and brought in a nina simone cd...(and said, i brought this for you!)
however, her tone is like.. SUPER sarcastic... and i feel like i should just shut up.. ya know? (though she has this vibe that's very inviting... and i feel like i wanna tell her stuff.. but at the same time... i feel like she and co. won't get it...) anyways... this isn't making sense... but i know what i mean...
i work all week (sun-sat) w/ monday off.. i think that's cords/bra shopping day...(today i got identical V-neck T's) and tomorrow i'll get identical round collar long sleeve T's...
and then socks... and i'll be happy!
in terms of the money gig... i'm focusing now on alias... b/c as much as i want my sony... i have a portable cd player, a walkman, a stereo, a laptop and an mp3 player to hear music on.. so i'm sorta set...(bummed.. but meh) in terms of alias... i have non of that... so... i guess that wins...
well, i'm off... i'm going to scour for food...
signing off
the paranoid hermit
random quote: oh, my bf is a big dick and he uses it!

hmmm makes you wonder....

it's happened... i'm now CONVINCED that my co-workers, (dana esp.) hate me... :(
not sure why... (not sure why they hate me and not sure why i think that...)
in lieu of this, i've decided to just shut up... and not volenteer any information.... only talk when being talked to...and give simple, short answers to questions...
reveal nothing futher about my demented state of being...
ya...
i work 6 days next week :D hazza!
it's passover tomorrow.. and we're hosting it.. and we're expecting around 30 peeps.. holy! lots of FUCKING LOUD KIDS... and one of them has the chicken pocks... :S luckily, the bro will be at work, so i get to be online! hazza! and watch movies... i have a stack that i got via shirley, and i need to make sure they're in good condition...

i hate being the outsider....(well, not really... i like being left of centre... but i hate being alienated... :( i don't like feeling like a freak... i hate not being able to be myself...i hate the person i am here...
random quote: the sky is falling!

god i love the drama!

so it's only when i talk to other ppl about myself that i realize... man... there are more than a few screws loose up in me noggin...

the constant paranoia has once again reared it's head.... i'm sure one of my co workers (the one i like best) hates me... i think it's b/c i'm jewish...
i just fell off my chair laughing....i'm thinking about how to ask her... i just like to know where i stand w/ ppl...though shirly said that she liked me, b/c she put in lots of shifts, and most of them w/ her... i really like her, her name's dana, she's a real doll...i went out w/ her and eyal (former co-worker) the other night... he's a real sweety... i'm seeing 2 super old friends (that i've known for 17 yrs.) and then also, thinking of extending the stay here... i can get more shifts, and i can remake my 200 bucks... not sure about this yet... hmmmmm thoughts anyone?!
this week's shifts: (also last week i worked sunday, tues, wed, fri, sat.)
sunday: 8 hrs
monday: 2 hrs
tuesday: 7 hrs
wednesday: 6 hrs
thursday: 4 hrs
friday: 15 hrs
saturday: 6 hrs
and then we do the whole thing (only more hrs) next week...
so ultimately, i stand to be 100/150 bucks short for my stuff...(b/c i owe my dad/mom around 200 bucks...)
no random quote for today.... sorry....
but feel free to enjoy jennifer garner's hotness...
p.s i cut my hair...

could it get any worse?!

like.. SERIOUSLY.. no one here has heard of manners!
so i'm at the counter... being all nice and sweet... whatever, and dana (who's in charge and very sweet though i think she hates me...) was out putting movies away and stuff.. these 3 FUCKING kids walk in all bouncy and aggressive...and wanted to know where the movie 13 was... so i showed them, and then they wanted to buy some candy, so i said, you'll have to wait for dana, b/c i don't know how to use the comp. for sales. so the one goes, then why are you here (in this tone...) and i'm like, to be beautiful and for everyone to see my sparkling personality... and the other one goes but you're not (beautiful) and then the other one goes, (and i quote:) then why don't you get off your ass and get her? (dana) so i looked at her, and was like, maybe when you start talking to me a bit more nicely and if your friend won't call me ugly, i'll move my ass, b/c i'm very comfortable here... so she started saying it all nice, and i said, move, i have a client...
i was SO FUCKING MAD! fucking 12 yr... bitch ass motherfucker!
then the guy i was helping said, forget them, they're too young to understand what beauty is... (blush)
and then we went out...
sigh...
catch ya'll on the flipside!
random quote: what's wrong w/ you people!?

no dizzying highs, only terrible lows...

it's all gone...
over...
done with...
boy am i a sad little bunny running through the woods...
all the money i thought i was gonna have... GONE... damn damn, DOUBLE DAMN!
ugh... sigh... small cry...
another sigh... goodbye Mr. Violet LeDuc... you were a wonderful thought... you kept me going when things were tough, i had great dreams for the both of us...
but sadly, you shall remain in the realm of dreams... where you're free to roam and be wonderful to some imaginary being...
enjoy it friend...
as for ALIAS... i still have hope...
random quote: i am alone. i am utterly alone. by the time you read this, i will be gone. having jumped... having plumtetted off winterbay bridge...

new adventures of old indigo at the video store...

so i've had 3 shifts already, and i have one more this week, tomorrow...
i met most of the new crew... and i only really like 2 of them....
yesterday, at closing time, this german chick walked in and i brushed up on my deutch...it was nice...
then i think this stupid american came in and sorta bashed canada... i hate her... JUGSS CURSE! no one disses the good country! (so my stupid co worker, is like, so what? don't get your panties all in a bunch... and i said, if smone came in here and mocked jewland, wouldn't you be mad? this woman was negative about my home! how dare she! and he sorta saw it from my pov....)
i HATE israelis... they suck.... i miss the nice canadians....
the weather here is ok... pretty cool, i get to wear long all the time... no tannage for indigo any time soon... hazza!
and other than that.... i just keep my focus on ALIAS and Mr. LeDuc... and that's about it...
i hope everyone's surviving w/out me...(it's hard, i know...)
random quote: who's your daddy!? wayne rink!

i heart shirley!

so i had my first shift last night!
i loved it! i miss working at the video store!!! the new staff is cool.. so far... a bit low on energy.. but meh...(also, i was up for almost 24 hrs.. so that might have had smthing to do w/ my energy level....)

i rented a stack of flicks, and then shirley have me another stack :D hazza!
i have in total 4 shifts this week, and probably every day starting next week! i love it!
all i need is 100 hrs.!
so today's my day off... it's my friend's beday... and i have the house to myself.... good times!
i'm off to watch beyond the sea...
it's slightly chilly here, so i get to wear my mac hoody ALL the time... i love it! and my bro gave me a flannelly zippy hoody that i love...
and um... that's about it on my end...
random quote: with great power comes great responsiblity!

update...(not dead yet! awesome!)

so ya... i'm still here... alive... physically... but dead on the inside...
everytime i'm here, i have this terrible feeling of anxiety... it's aweful! i hate it... i feel like i can't calm down.. it's the wind, and the noise and the general state of being here... i can't take it! (breathe...breathe.. find the zen centre... oooo in my mind's eye i can see my aliases!)
i talked to DW today, and he knows a guy who knows a guy who works at the sony store.. in a couple of weeks we'll go see about Mr. V and see if we can get a groovy jewish discount! (hazza!)
tomorrow i go to see shirley... and beg for shifts... (keep your fingers crossed)
last night i saw a friend of mine that i've known since i was 8 yrs old! i hope to see her again tomorrow....
b4 i talk about the baby... i just wanna say.. this doesn't change the core of what i was saying all along...(about how there's no point in getting to know her blah blah blah, she's here, i'm home, blah blah blah)
she's very even.... and good tempered... so that's nice... and surprisingly, for a baby, she's clean... no oozing gunk or anything.. and she's friendly... (not AT ALL photogenic... so she's a lot cuter in real life) i'm not gushing and i won't be when i get back.. .i'm simply saying she's ok... i approve, and i'll stop referring to her as the damn baby... (she gives me big hugs and kisses... blah!)
what else? i hate the douche bag.. (jugss, start working on the curse agaiN!)
i'm off to watch sin city w/ my bro..
my dog is insane! i worry about him...
and i got my nails done today...
and i think i'm starting weight watchers like.. tomorrow...
we'll see how it goes..
stay safe kids!
miss/love you all...
xoxo
random quote: i bet you even called us beavers on your radio, didn't you? ya, i did! DAMN! i hate that, i hate being called a beaver!