sleep....

wow.. so i just had a like... million hr. nap...(or coma... i had a million hr. coma...)
and i could totally go back for more.... a little more alias.. and then maybe back to sleep...(i'm on season 3 :D)
but oddly enough, this isn't what this post is about...
a friend is smone who knows EVERYTHING about you and loves you anyways...
i really believe that...when i look at my friends... i can barely see their flaws... b/c they're my friends... each one beautiful in a very special way...
when i was younger, it took forever to get me upset... things would slide off my back... and i'd forgive and forget... and not really care...
in the past few yrs... this has totally changed.. and i can't seem to let things go...
i have this need to hold on... to remember every incident that affected me... etch it deep in my brain and let it fester...
right now.. i'm at a crossroads...one way says, that being angry and hateful is just too much work... and it just sucks the life out of you...
the other way says, ya.. but think about.... (whatever)... and don't forget about the time when.... and how that....
one part of me... has this need to be so incredibly mean... and destructive, and petty, and just plain mean and hurtful... but the larger part of me (which is mostly the boobs and the hair) doesn't believe in that... it says, forgive and forget... move on...
and then there's a million other voices that make no sense... the loudest one screaming, how the hell did i get here?! what the fuck's going on?! and i think one was saying attika over and over again.. not sure what that's about...
the only way to solve this is to think: wwsd? what would sydney do? (haa haa)
off to ponder...
random quote:
I hid my yo-yo
In the garden.
I can't hide you
From the government.