random selections...(insomnia)

their skins like a smoker's teeth, their eyes join together to form a dark and neverending abyss.
their friends are like new porn stars; painted faces with tainted souls.
franchised punk and store credit goth...
angry words that feed the mind and i am floating.
i wear my authenticity like a badge of honour.
i sit in the red glow of my windmill and i am profound.
i catch wisdom like fireflies, music sounds off around me - cocooning me to the world.
in my sleep induced paranoia i stand in a crowd near the exit sign.
i slowly fade away - disappear.
drunken laughter around me and i am a familiar stranger, a ghost.
i want to talk to nina simone, get some perspective.
DARKNESS, like a cancer spreads through me and there's no cure... only THE cure, they don't care, it's friday, they're inlove.
i'm a one trick pony: my brain overloading with serial killers and sex crime victims.
my name is a four letter word and i am lost.

floating, endless
rays that sting
people, faceless
the sky that never brings
alone, it's dark
silence pains
faces mark
the sky that never rains
eye see nothing
brain feels not
mouth not functioning
mind starts to rot.

the clock oozes out its numbers.
time like sludge fills my lungs.
i'm stuck in a warp unable to breathe.
time comes here to die, death comes to time life,
and the vicious circle continues.
alien babies crawl out of my stomach,
their fierce teeth hungry for blood.
i hear music from far away but i can't recognize the tune.
(my mill lies black and full of ashes)
i can't find the pieces of my broken heart,
and i can't see beyond my head.

it's loud.
always loud inside my head.
i can't hear the music.
the light has burned me
and i turn to dust.
they've broken my coffin
and now i can't sleep.
the mortals hunt me down and kill me.
they rip my heart out and put it in a jar.
naked and on display.
a willing freak
in a crazy freakshow (sideshow)
always on the side

echoes and shadows
mornings and morrows
tears and sorrows
cycles of ache
invisible heartbreak
no space to breathe
no way to leave.

and finally...

my field is in ruin
my muse lies ravaged and dying.
there are large holes in my sky
ashes have obscured my moon.
my eyes like bricks falling heavy.
i am surrounded by an ocean of Barbie
drowning in the insipidness of it all.
words like flies buzz around me
i stumble and fall into stupidity.
living in a harem, surrounded by sex.
like Alice down the rabbit hole i fall
1/2 an hour of solace, of peace, of...
repetition is my ANTHEM,
and i know the words by heart.
the body and mind conflict and a war rages within.
weekends become deadends, painful reminders of the living
and i have no air.
no frame of reference.