life... as it is...

this week just fucking FLEW by..
i can't even remember what i did...
worked a double on fri. it was INSANE, then i had a meeting too early sat. and worked.. then i came home and had a nap and chilled a bit..
and today is a brand new day... i have a shift in the afternoon and then i might be off to mon's...
i've recently re-connected with my highschool teacher... he was one of my favorites and he still lives in germany but is going to the states for a visit, i told him to come visit me, it's been a few years since i last saw him...
the week after next i have more meetings and hopefully they'll be fruitful in this job hunting adventure...
and that's pretty much it... still more movies are always on the horizon and i think i'll try reading a bit today.. it's been a while since i read.... (which is not a good thing... at all)
ok.. that's it friends!
random quote: in a moment anything can change...

no sleep and much time makes life good...

so, once again, unable to sleep, i was up and the crack of dawn... after 1/2 hr. of tossing and turning, i decided that at 7:30 am, there's no better idea than popcorn and a gore flick...
so i just got through watching hostel II.... and man.. it was lamer than the first one... so boring...
but the concept is an interesting one... raises a lot of questions about morals, power, money, free will, the lack thereof, and more...
i will ponder this today..
on the horizon:
work today and possible movie (eastern promises)
double tomorrow
work sat.
shift sun.
and next week we do the whole thing over again...
but it's the thought of getting more movies that keeps me going!
take it easy...
random quote: are you sure you don't want a drink? ppl who don't drink make me nervous...

more movies!!!

i just got home from watching resident evil: extinction....
and whoa... that movie was amazing! i was surprised at how much i enjoyed myself....
i'm definately up for seeing it again...
also, bug was FUCKING AMAZING! the only bad thing about it, was ashley judd.. who's a terrible actress... but all in all... it was great... william friedken is a brilliant director! the visuals...(well, the set, mostly.. in the 2nd half of the movie) was inspiring and unique, it was eerie and creepy and scary and unpredictable... and had a heart and soul... i loved it!
on the horizon:
saw trilogy box set (the sp. ed. at futureshop that's 3D)
Grindhouse Presents: Planet Terror
Kill Bill: the whole bloody story
Gilmore Girls
those are on the must have when they come out list... luckily i've picked up a few extra shifts and will be able to afford them all...(and saw comes out a week before the 4th one comes out...)
(jojo, you up for a marathon???)
and tonight, i think i'll be watching resident evil:apocalypse... for shits and giggles...(the more i watch that franchise, the more i like it...) i'm thinking about getting the original...mmmmm things to ponder!
xoxo and sleep tight my pretties!

HAZZA once more!

so tuesday was a pretty good day! except for the dizzying heat...
i went on campus.... met my beloved prof. we chatted for a while, she's amazing :D sigh...
then i met w/ mon and had the world's BEST sandwiches...(veggie patch w/ marinated grilled eggplant, jugss, don't eat this, it has eggplant!)
THEN, i had another fruitful meeting that will resume in a couple of weeks, and THEN, i was off to work...(i was late, but meh..)
the night went smoothly... a bit busy... but whatever... and OH! before i went to campus i rented BUG!!! whoohoo!
so then i get home around midnight, all stoked to watch my movie, when there's a package waiting for me!
it was my ebay movie!!!! WHOOHOOO!
as i suspected, it's a copy of the original, but who cares! it's a good copy and looks real...
(however, i'm now determined to get the dvd)
it's not AS good as i remembered it, but it's still very powerful! i'm super stoked i have it!
and now, my shift starts in an hr. so i'm going to watch bug and eat some chips and chill....
tonight i'm going to watch resident evil w/ julie!
so it's gearing up to be a good day :D
i just hope my shift goes by smoothly...
later gators!

bug...

yay! this movie comes out today!
and i'm gonna rent it!!!
and i'm very excited!
this better be a good flick!
mmmm i'm excited!
today is so far, a good day!
hazza!

what is up w/ this no sleep business?!

blah... so i've come to the conclusion that i don't like not sleeping...
i went to bed just after 3am and woke up at 7am.... i have a crazy long and busy day today....
work, meeting, movie....at least i can try to sleep in tomorrow... i'm hoping for the best, b/c tomorrow is also a long day...meeting, meeting, work...wed. have the day off... sorta... i have a shift in the morning, and possibly a meeting w/ the tattoo guy and then again, possibly a movie or two...
i'm going to try and sleep a bit until my alarm goes off...
and also, i heart youtube! it's the best thing EVER! i love how it feeds and nourishes my obsessions... hazza!
50 more days till gilmore!

i'm am sooo old....

so b/w friday and saturday, i got literally no sleep... which was just awful... i hate not sleeping...
coupled w/ severely poor eating habits of the past couple of weeks... i've been depleted of energy....
so julie and i headed to ikea for their famous dollar breakfast and it was great! then we bought our apple-cohol and pear-cohol and off we were... after a slight detour, we made it to wonderland!
and boy, i was like... a five yr. old on crack! it was so exciting! i couldn't wait to get on those rides!
we started w/ a fairly tame roller coaster.... and when we go off, i was super dizzy and nauseous...
but i pushed through and we went on a bunch of super scary rides... and i just kept getting worse and worse.... yup.. i'm old and can't really handle roller coasters anymore... after a few rides, i caved, i needed to get some food and water and head home... i took a gravol and tried staying awake during the ride home... i stumbled home and into bed and crashed for a few hrs...
so i feel like the day was a bit of a waste b/c i'm a bag of bricks... :( sorry julie...
but at least i got to say that i've been to canada's wonderland!
maybe i'll give it another go, after a good night's sleep and some decent food in my system....
today i'm on call.... and maybe later i'll go w/ julie to the movies :D
adios for now!
random quote: i still dream of organon....

YIPPEEEE!

tomorrow is kick ass day!
first, it's breakfast at ikea, THEN, we're (and by we're i mean julie and i) off to WONDERLAND!!!!
whoohoo! this'll be my first time going! and i can't wait!
on our way back we'll be stopping at ikea again (mayhaps for dinner) and shelf-buying.. i'm tre excited!
ok... i need to do some measuring and then watch tv and try to sleep...
sunday i have a shift... i work a bunch next week... and i'm going to see some movies... and ya... busy...
keep it real kids!
the hermit...

movie review: closure

this is a flick i've been waiting for for months!
the director has a blog (or had) that followed the filming and stuff... updates on release dates in europe and the us/canada.. all that good stuff :D
it stars one of my childhood faves.. gillian anderson!!!! scully's in this movie!!!
anyhoo, the real name of the movie is straightheads, but the us/ca. title is closure, b/c they didn't think ppl in this part of the world would know what a straighthead is (it's "regular" ppl who've never been affected by violence)
the story is simple... it's a rape-revenge... but it's very interesting... in how the characters play out... the gang (of three) beat adam to a pulp, damaging his eye beyond repair, and ruthlessly rape alice.... after a while, adam is content on moving on...despite the trauma he's experienced, he just wants to feel normal... meanwhile, alice, stews in her own anger and hurt and is set on seeking her revenge... what was interesting was her determination... she was the one pushing for adam to get involved and to help her...
it's a short film.. and the more i think about it, the more i like it....
gillian anderson does a really good job.. i didn't think she had it in her... but her performance lacked smthing... it was very subtle... and very calculated... but also very icy... and maybe a bit reserved... but a good performance nonetheless..

my ebay movie was sent yesterday..and i'm hoping it gets here w/in a week or two... and then i can say that i'm the proud owner of a rare movie :D i have plenty of obscure little titles in my collection, but not a certified rare movie :D i'm stoked! there are two more movies i need to add to that section and i'll be content... i think i'll be calling on my counterpart once more for this adventure...(now that we know how to do it! lol)
(just for shits and giggles, the other two movies are a russian movie from '98 called of freaks and men, and an italian flick from '95 called diary of a rapist which i want in the original italian.. i've only seen it dubbed)
also, i got death proof, and it rocked! and i can't wait till planet terror comes out next month! (on the 16th)
future movie viewings: resident evil: extinction, eastern promises and across the universe :D
and bug :D
needless to say, i'm a happy little movie head running through the fields!
random quote: do you know what they did after they were finished w/ me? they laughed...
eta: ebay movie is likely to be a copy.. not original... :( but meh... i'll eventually get it... i always do!

double post...

in light of the 2nd half of grindhouse coming out today, here's a 2 for 1...
first the good... movies :D
recent movie purchases:
american beauty
the big lebowski
dazed and confused
fast times at ridgemont high
good will hunting
recent movie watchings:
shoot 'em up
the brave one
3:10 to yuma
and today, i'm off to rent closure (or the REAL title, straightheads)
and buy death proof! i'm SUPER STOKED! and also, all is well w/ the ebay order! it went through and now we play the waiting game...
2nd post: violence.
i watched the brave one last night and it made me think about all kinds of things...
the opening of the film explored what trauma and fear do to a person... the character ends up buying a gun (i'm not giving anything away) and this gives her a false sense of security and power... but it doesn't really show the consequences of those actions that are done out of fear and anger and vengence...she goes out seeking crime and hate and compromising situations only to exert her new found strength at the hands a weapon...
she doesn't learn how to use is... nor does she give anyone any warnings about her impending course of action...she does struggle at times, and the voices won't let her be and she keeps replaying all the events in her mind over and over, but that seems to just further "justify" her cause of nameless/faceless vigilante activity...
moreover, the police, who-it's debatable- know what she's up to, do nothing to stop her...though she seemingly tries to stop, everyone gets sucked into this world of disorder and anti-law, while she roams the streets doing as she pleases.... is it justified simply b/c she's been wronged and she's "offing" the "bad guys"?
i don't think so... i don't believe in that kind of justice, but then again, she says in the movie that she doesn't understand how ppl lived with fear, she always thought it was for the weak, and that she was above that... until fear touched her... so it's easy for me to sit here and judge..(oh, but i do it so well... ) this flick had it's moments.. but i think it would've worked better as an indie film, that could take it's time with the character struggles... and all the moral questions and all that...
anyways... that's my bit for now... i'll add more later...
relevant quote: i want my dog back!

so tired....

i need a day off and to win a HUGE amount of money...

HA-FUCKING-ZZA!!!!!!!!!

i won the bid on ebay!
whoohooo!!!
and i owe it all to my fabulously amazing and life altering counterpart!!!!! thanx to her (you rock jugss!) i'll be the happiest jew-ess in the whole wide world!!!!!
it's a super rare film from the 70's (it's french) and those who hang out w/ me regularly, must've heard me talk about this flick endless times.. on countless occasions...
whoohoo!!! i'm so happy!
also,in the next couple of weeks some good movies are coming out on dvd...
i'm hoping to see the brave one next week.... anyone welcomed :D
and that's it.. tonight is a quiet night of movie watching..
tomorrow i'm going out w/ my beloved counterpart :D to a queen's tribute... should be awesome!
and then sunday i work and hopefully it'll be a good day.. and not too crappy for the commute...
adios friends!
the happy hermit!
random quote: it is no good to sit and weep b/c the serpent tempted eve...

ebay adventures....

so i still haven't figured out how this damned ebay gig works... but i'm trying it out..
my lovely counterpart lends her help (as always) and off we are..
i'm bidding on a rare french movie that i've wanted for at least a couple of years... it's an incredibly strong and intense flick... w/ some wonderful acting...
i only remember bits and pieces so i'm REALLY hoping to win the bid... i have under 20 hrs. until the auction closes.. and then it's mine.. so far, i'm the only bidder...
send vibes ya'll...
the impatient hermit...
random quote: do you remember where we parked the car?
ps. fave new movie: the good german...

i think this is going to be a good month, inspite and despite everything...

and remember, i was here!

the groovy characters that populate my world...

over the many many many many MANY years that i've been roaming this planet, i've met a ridiculous number of people from all parts of the world.. from all walks of life...
i'm met some amazing people who've really left a mark, memories that i'll take w/ me to the grave..
others filled me w/ disappointment and hate... leaving a bitter taste in my mouth... and a hole in my cavity.
but now, i have ppl in my world that are the best of the best... i don't have to tell them that smthing's wrong, b/c they already know.. and they've already hatched a plan to get me out of my funk... if there's anything i need.... they're there by my side...
i'd like to pay homage to 2 of those ppl...
jugss and monica...
two of my bestest friends ever :D
you guys are amazing... my rocks.. my anchors, my life line...
i heart you both :D
random quote: can i just say something? i'd just like to say something. i.. am not a twat!

i've been asked this recently...

i guess that i'm known among my peeps to know all these weird and obscure films...most of them dealing with disturbing subject matter...
where do i find these movies? i dunno... i seek them out... ppl recommend them to me...
ANYWAY.... i just finished watching the most fucked up flick!
it's a korean movie called oldboy, and it's serisouly messed up and just gorgeous!
the soundtrack is enchanting, the acting is superb, and the plot just fucks w/ you...
add to that the seemingly exotic location that is korea, and there you go...
i highly recommend it, but only for those who can handle intense stuff on screen...
here's a waterdown plot summery:
a guy is kidnapped for 15 yrs, one day he's released and has 5 days to solve the mystery of who kidnapped him and why?

signing off
the hermit

when it rains.. it fucking pours...

why is everyone such an asshole?
why can't ppl gain perspective and listen to the voice of reason?
blah... times like these make so happy w/ who i am and the path i've chosen for myself...
the real world is way too complicated... too much drama.. too much heartache...
in here it's cold and grey... i can wear my new coat and my toque... the scarf beannie made me and sip on a hot cup of flavoured chocolate :D
everything's fine here and the forecast calls for more snow :D
tonight's screening is alias (season 3) it's all good here...
good music, cold, movies... home...

i've once again lost someone...

what does it mean...?

when a relative stranger buys you a rather expensive gift?
there's a guy... time...thought... presents..
i'm not sure how to respond... everyone thinks he's sweet on me... i don't think so...
i should do something nice in return...
still thinking about proffi :D
random quote: This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell.

highlight of the day...

i saw my professor today...
and she gave me a hug and we chatted... and she invited me up to her office when i have time and told me (as always) to stay in touch and come see her :D
totally put a skip in my step.... i heart her :D
so ya.. that totally made my day...
tonight i'm off to watch the bourne ulitmatum... so i guess i should watch supremacy...
oh happy days...
(blah)

when i think of all my accomplishments...(ya, the 2... in my life... :S)
and when i think about what i'm capable of doing... and how much passion i have and how much i want to do more... i feel so blue...
i look around and i see morons running the world, driving fancy cars...
i can't afford to take the test to finally get my license...
i see people who can't spell or speak properly,
i work so much i don't have time to catch up on my reading...
i see all this shit, and i'm stuck in the middle and i can't flush myself out...
i can't start to describe the frustration... but it's there..and it pulsates through me and beats down on me..
like a dull dagger straight to my head... cutting everything that once had meaning out...
trapped in an endless circle i can't see the end... this is my limbo and i hate it...

can you save me?
i can't seem to do it myself...
every hope is drowned by my screams of protest...
i need a ledge... i need a ray...
i need the wind and the rain,
i need the comfort of the grey...
i need an out...
won't you save me?

i have no regrets... or do i???

ya... i don't really regret anything i've ever done... sure, there are things i'd tweak.. or slightly change... but i don't REALLY regret anything... i stand by my choices... i like the path i've chosen...(granted, right now everything sucks, and i can barely get motivated to get out of bed... but all that aside)...
but there's a thing i've done recently, and i'm regretting it... i'm thinking of bailing... of quitting...
i'm torn about this... (well... maybe not torn, that seems a bit too dramatic) but i'm not sure if i want to continue doing this...i'm going to talk to some people and see what they say... get some perspective...
anyhoo... i actually have stuff to do now...(other than watch alias...on season three now!)
random quote: L: if you're finished, this is the men's room.
S: who let you in?

i hate my life...

there's nothing left in me to die anymore.. it's all gone...
all i have left is anger, frustration and hatred...
i can't see this ending... this dark abyss has no exit sign,
there's seems to be no silver lining around my dark cloud...
blah... i hate my life...
:(