6 minutes...

it's 6 mins till my bday... and i regret telling everyone...
there's no reason for celebration... i've done nothing since last year except live..i've achieved NOTHING...
i'm disconnected...unsettled...broke...alone...

i apply for citizenship in a couple of mnths... and i wonder if this is the right way... is this the right decision...? i draw a blank...i face a wall and there's no one to hear me...

i need to lose a ridiculous amount of weight in 3.5 mnths... i'm hoping to start swimming next week...and biking...

i need $$$...

the concert is the only thing keeping me going... i wake up to hope for floor seats... is that wrong?

i'm working all day tomorrow... 11-11... rachel is making me a peanut butter cake... she's not working, but she's coming in to have cake w/ me...

the bowl of sunshine confessed that he doesn't have back stage passes... he offered to get me anything madonna related i wanted... i wanted her video dvds... but i told him to forget it... i didn't want him to waste his time on me... it's not worth the effort...

one more minute... it's almost here.. my dreaded future.... my shitty present...

how do they all do it? why can't i?

happy birthday kid... maybe this is my year...?