at the airport...a semi fictional accout of some of the events that transpired...

It was almost 2 am. The gate was deserted. It was so quiet, I could barely stand it. The flight was yet again delayed...I sat in my seat, knee shaking violently, eyes burning, body aching for rest and sleep. There was a small group of us, eagerly and angrily waiting to board the plane, wanting and needing to get where we were going. All I wanted was a fucking internet connection. I needed to check my email, facebook account. I hated being alone in a strange town. When I fumbled for money, while buying a muffin, I felt like an asshole; not knowing what the currency was called, what coin they had. The lady was mean when I bought my watch. It was identical to the one that broke earlier that day. I was elated to have found the exact same one. My OCD world was a little more complete. My anxiety shot through the roof when I thought about the damn wind chimes. A baby was yelling in the background, or two tables away. The movie I was watching wasn’t loud enough. I was restless and tired. I wanted to go home, but I was 5000 miles away... waiting to travel another chunk of distance. I kept thinking about my new digital camera. I was hoping that now that I had it, it meant that I’d have something worthwhile to take pictures of. I took pictures of my room, my music, my movies, my Moulin Rouge. I already missed home. The thought of my routine being disrupted nagged at me. What would I do for an entire month? Away from my life? I’d have to speak in tongues, adapt, pretend to be someone I wasn’t. I’d have to defend the bits that made it through the facade. I hated that bullshit. I couldn’t be honest. Who would I confide in? My friends knew me, they were used to my neurotic behaviour, the paranoia in my voice, the bizarre thought pattern. Who would I turn to now? How could I explain that I was on a path that could seem destructive and disruptive? But I was happy with it. How do you treat someone who doesn’t want to be cured? i missed the internet. I couldn’t figure out how to work that damn wireless mode. Fucking technology... why couldn’t it just be a button that said, connect and that’s it?

Strangers kept passing by me, and I thought I recognized their faces. But again, I was alone in a strange land. I sat solitary in a midst of groups, annoying kids that couldn’t shut the fuck up, and making shrill noises and sounds that made me almost homicidal.

more to come...