homicide in the eyes...

i know you talk about me when i'm gone...
but you don't understand!
don't want to understand...
b/c i can't understand...

you go home and whisper ugly truths about me
speculating, making your snide remarks...
i speed away, face flushed and hot, heart beating like a maniac...

and then the darkness creeps in,
and i think about things that are wrong,
things that make me sick,
but i relish them,
i bathe in their depraved reality.

there are a million voices in my head
all demanding something else of me...
and then it gets quiet and all the thoughts come crashing in
they beg for attention and they want to destroy me.

and then you come in with your bullshit.
you smile and pretend you like me
and i know you talk about me behind my back.
i know what you say.
i know you talk about me with your friends,
making judgements...

there is no future...