FUCK!
i can't stop thinking of how mad i am...
i thought i could let it go... i thought i could be ok w/ it... let the shit roll...
but i can't stop thinking about it...
i'm going to let it slide for this week.. not do the class and see how i feel...
i need to think of a good excuse if she asks me why i wasn't there...
any ideas???
ugh...
signed:
incredibly frustrated...
i thought i could let it go... i thought i could be ok w/ it... let the shit roll...
but i can't stop thinking about it...
i'm going to let it slide for this week.. not do the class and see how i feel...
i need to think of a good excuse if she asks me why i wasn't there...
any ideas???
ugh...
signed:
incredibly frustrated...
posted by indigo:actress, entertainter, jew-ess... at 4:55 PM
1 Comments:
ok-so i said i was leaving for a while off internet--maybe a really long time--and am, but i just saw this and since there's no email, well here goes...
NEVER EVER post anything 'real' on facebook! facebook is for showing people the life you want people to see---not your actual one! it's about social/professional networking and that means at all times with the exception of death announcements---never post that you are even slightly 'sad' about anything. everything is either sunny or exciting or at the very least very very fun. At work you have to project that you are happy, solid, and powerful. Revealing emotional turmoil is never an option.
what that woman did is not right---but you should know better---and you will never 'resolve' it. you said she was 'partially blocking' you on facebook right? well then. when you say stuff like 'i thought i could trust people,' that's really weird for me to hear...'cause I don't think that's what you really think.
As for crush. Who the hell is she anyway. Don't take people in your everyday life and idealize them. That's what dead movie stars are for. Start a marilyn monroe collection---don't think that this woman is any better than anyone else. Office romances of any form are never a good idea. Now--yeah, some people meet their spouses at work...or school...some at work and school simultaneously which is probably the most common and the most distasteful. BUT, there is nothing romantic about it. It is based on cold-hearted power-mongering, lust, nepotism, racism, ideologically struggles, turf wars, and personal petty differences. If you ever date anyone at work---don't look at them as a person, they are always either a step on the ladder---going up or down? Ask yourself---will 'going down' on x take me down or push me forward in my career.
Solicitude is the sincerest form of professional backbiting and bullying and don't you forget it. This woman sounds like she is trying to undermine your stability as an employee. Or at the very least, she has boundary issues or even worse---she is a virgo and doesn't even admit to herself what she has done! Don't become emotionally involved with your workplace or anyone in it. Business is buisness---and whether you're selling munitions or cupcakes---your coworkers will sabotage you any time they can. I don't know her and hope never to meet this person but as KP sings, she sounds "like a bitch I would know". Gossip fuels the workplace.
And finally---seriously. Learn to shut your mouth. I was really quiet before this very kind of stuff and much much worse took me down. Trust me. This shit is nothing. If this is bothering you---if you knew the story of my life---you would laugh at this. I've had things said to me that were way worse---and I didn't even post anything on facebook. Being honest is not an option.
TWO: Don't get reactive. Don't second guess yourself or anticipate or even think about work. Your day out of work is your own to enjoy yourself and maybe it sounds like find a better job in the future. Seriously now---don't even think about it---don't reveal too much about yourself---be nice, positive, competent, and QUIET!!! GET A DIARY. you know, 'are you there god, it's me margaret'. with a lock and key. Even be careful on here. This is public you know.
RANT OVER
So---what I just wanted to say is that I went to your house July 15, 2007. It was a day that I will always remember because being with you that day was the first and last day in a very long time that I spent a day with a friend and someone I could trust. That was totally on my side. You will not find those people at work. The seeds of this scenario had been planted for me that day already. And trying to 'resolve' them for me only made them worse. Don't dwell on the trauma of violation. It will emaciate you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Play along. I resisted and it never works. They see the disdain in you 'resolutions'. I ruined my life---don't let these people distract you from your goals and the everyday pleasures that you have to go in search of. You have to live in a tunnel and view 'work' as exactly that. Don't let it become part of your identity. Don't let people involve you in their own power brokering or bullying. Disconnect yourself from the trauma of the petty injustices of life lest they become grievous, irreparable ones. Don't let people's stupid contrived sayings and cutting keywords echo in your head. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY---don't let them see that this bothers you. If they really are vicious---this will give them pleasure.
Anyway RANT REALLY OVER THIS TIME.
Just remember, I'm leaving for now and for a very long time. But I love you lady---you're a good person, and you have to find a levee for this kind of stuff because it will drown you. I promise. xm
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